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Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

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Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby phsvm » Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:35 am

In the last WDYTYA magazine there was a query about the whereabouts of a grandfather-in-law in the Reader-to-reader help column.

Ithink I managed to locate the missing individual and e-mailed my findings into the magazine as requested. I presume they were passed on to the person asking for the information.

Since then I have heard nothing. Am I expecting too much in hoping for the courtesy of an acknowledgement from the recipient? I took the trouble to do some research for this person mainly because it intrigued me and I like searching for people/things, not because I wanted to be showered with grateful thanks and recognition. But is it too much to expect common courtesy of a thank you? If nothing else an acknowledgement and an update on whether this was the person they were searching for would have been nice.

When I've posted queries on this forum I've always tried to ensure that I acknowledge the help I'm given and to give an update as to where other's suggestions have taken my research. Presumably if someones taken the trouble to comment on my posting it's because they're interested.

Manners don't cost anything - but maybe I'm just old fashioned!
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby ColinB » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:25 pm

No , it isn't just you and you're not being old-fashioned ! I don't think any of us is looking to be showered with gratitude but it rankles when someone can't be bothered to say a simple
thank you. I've found it even more irritating when I've been approached on Ancestry for information,
gone out of my way to help and then received no response at all !

I try to focus on the many good exchanges I've had and to ignore the rest !

Colin
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby callbrian » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:51 pm

Hi,
I agree with both postings. I just think that some people try so many lines of enquiry they perhaps forget where or who they have asked. I have come across several identical posts on Rootsweb, Ancestry etc thinking I may have found a solution, only to find the same query.
As Colin says, just focus on the good and if you enjoy looking up items for other people, then carry on and don't expect any thanks.

regards
Brian
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby Guy » Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:40 am

I think in the initial case yes, you might be asking too much.

Why do I say that?

It depends on the WDYTYA procedures for forwarding information.
It could be your email address was stripped from the information sent and the recipient has mailed a thanks which could appear in the magazine.
It could be there was a delay in forwarding your information.
It could be the recipient is on holiday.

There could be many reasons for a delay in a reply, or it could be the recipient is simply bad mannered.
Cheers
Guy
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby ritah » Tue Jul 26, 2011 4:09 pm

Manners cost nothing! Perhaps if there are any alterations to the website following the questionnaire then a pop-up could be shown asking contributors to post an acknowledgement even if the information isn't of any help.

Rita
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby Sylcec » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:26 pm

Actually, I think this topic is covering two (or more!) situations. The original query related to responses sent through WDYTYA mag to published queries. I wonder if some of the fault could be in the way that these queries are handled. I also did some research and replied to one of these, but only every received the automated reply, which didn't even recognise that my email was responding to a request for help, rather than asking for it. Maybe the Eds could set up a separate email address or at least a more helpful response to tell us how they are handling our submissions.

As for those people who post queries in a flash of genealogical enthusiasm and then never return - very frustrating when we have gone to considerable time and effort to solve their problem. However, at least we have some interesting conversations amongst ourselves!! :)
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby Barb Hafslund » Sun Aug 21, 2011 3:03 am

I, too, am having problems receiving replies.
I always hasten to answer each and every single reply and my queries/replies have generated a number of answers in return. But it seems I don't get notified when I get a reply in a lot of cases as the original post gets longer. But the moment I realise I have got a reply I try to answer as quickly as possible. To me that is just manners.
I always make a point of ticking the box "Notify me when a reply is posted" below here to ensure I am alerted a reply has arrived. I'm in Australia and most of you guys are in way different time zones to me. However, in many cases I don't get a notification and thankfully, I can't help myself but to come back and see what is happening etc and suddenly realise I have missed a reply by a few days.

Is the problem in the receipt/delivery of the ""Notify me when a reply is posted" ?
I know that I will not get any receipt to this query but have noted the forum and will come back later today (Sunday my time) or early Monday.

I think that WDYTYA have some server problems etc? And maybe the online and magazine sections don't communicate?

regards
Barb Hafslund
Brisbane Australia

Sylcec wrote:Actually, I think this topic is covering two (or more!) situations. The original query related to responses sent through WDYTYA mag to published queries. I wonder if some of the fault could be in the way that these queries are handled. I also did some research and replied to one of these, but only every received the automated reply, which didn't even recognise that my email was responding to a request for help, rather than asking for it. Maybe the Eds could set up a separate email address or at least a more helpful response to tell us how they are handling our submissions.

As for those people who post queries in a flash of genealogical enthusiasm and then never return - very frustrating when we have gone to considerable time and effort to solve their problem. However, at least we have some interesting conversations amongst ourselves!! :)
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby Guy » Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:00 am

The original question asked about a response to a question printed in the magazine not a question on the forum.

It involves a completely different scenario as for a start we do not know if the person who asked the question has internet access.
We do not know if, for instance he/she has to wait (as used to happen) for the next or even the subsequent magazine to be published before he/she reads the reply.

It could take a further month or even two before his/her thanks/reply is printed in the magazine.
Four months used to be thought a fast turn round for such conversations published letters in magazines vastly extend the time taken for correspondence as opposed to email or forums, patience is the order of the day.
It seems to me that many of those who are complaining about a persons manners are perhaps guilty of the same offence as they have not paid the reader the courtesy of reading the posting properly before jumping to a conclusion.
Cheers
Guy
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby Barb Hafslund » Tue Aug 23, 2011 2:58 am

My sincere apologies, Guy, for butting in with the wrong response in the wrong forum. And if my manners are lacking - once again my apoligies. Stupidly I thought that people sending queries/replies to this forum WERE online. My bad.
regards .... ooooops sorry CHEERS
Barb Hafslund
Australia

Guy wrote:The original question asked about a response to a question printed in the magazine not a question on the forum.

It involves a completely different scenario as for a start we do not know if the person who asked the question has internet access.
We do not know if, for instance he/she has to wait (as used to happen) for the next or even the subsequent magazine to be published before he/she reads the reply.

It could take a further month or even two before his/her thanks/reply is printed in the magazine.
Four months used to be thought a fast turn round for such conversations published letters in magazines vastly extend the time taken for correspondence as opposed to email or forums, patience is the order of the day.
It seems to me that many of those who are complaining about a persons manners are perhaps guilty of the same offence as they have not paid the reader the courtesy of reading the posting properly before jumping to a conclusion.
Cheers
Guy
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Re: Is it just me - am I expecting too much?

Postby Guy » Tue Aug 23, 2011 6:20 am

Barb Hafslund wrote:My sincere apologies, Guy, for butting in with the wrong response in the wrong forum. And if my manners are lacking - once again my apoligies. Stupidly I thought that people sending queries/replies to this forum WERE online. My bad.
regards .... ooooops sorry CHEERS
Barb Hafslund
Australia


As they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

The original poster stated
phsvm wrote:In the last WDYTYA magazine there was a query about the whereabouts of a grandfather-in-law in the Reader-to-reader help column.

Ithink I managed to locate the missing individual and e-mailed my findings into the magazine as requested. I presume they were passed on to the person asking for the information.

Since then I have heard nothing. Am I expecting too much in hoping for the courtesy of an acknowledgement from the recipient?


The clues are in what was written (see bold text).
Yes the physm has online access but the person who is the subject of the complaint may not be online.
The query was in the magazine not on the forum.

I sometimes question the public's capacity to research when such obvious errors in comprehension occur.
Cheers
Guy
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